Texting & "Tattling"

I had an almost sleepless night lastnight, tossing and turning throughout the entire night and morning.  My mind was disturbed and my gut was wrenching with the details of yesterday's conversations.  My counseling appointment (regarding my issues with my stepdaughter) was less at the forefront after having a texting conversation with our birthmom, K. 
I'd texted K (CONFESSION: honestly, in an effort to appear "cool" in her eyes) instead of calling her about meeting up this weekend.  She said she had to get with her mom to discuss details so she'd get back to me, but she had a question for us: "Do u think u will be wellin 2 have an open one cuz i would like 2 see her after i have her"  I responded, "Absolutely! We want her 2 know about u & get 2 know u as much as possible.  Our friends abby & wes see their birthmom about every 6-8 weeks.  Do u think that would work 4 u?  Like i said b/4, we want 2 save & send pictures 2 u 2."
Then came the reason for the knot in my stomach: "Dat fine but i can see her like every 3 weeks but i guess we can talk bout dis when we see each other if dat ok."


EVERY THREE WEEKS!!???!!  More air out of my balloon, and an upset stomach to boot!  I remember a conversation I had with Greg's niece, D, who has adopted two children.  She bonded with her first right away, but she had difficulty bonding with her second b/c the birthmom wanted more and more contact (texting frequently, and wanting to see the baby every three weeks or so) UGH.


I want to bond with our baby immediately.  I know there will be some bonds automatically, as I find it easy to love (esp. babies!), but I also know that having K's constant involvement will prevent me from feeling like I'm truly baby's mommy.  I need!  I need! 


So, after having a completely restless night, I resolved to call our social worker at the adoption agency this morning.  Good thing I did.  She had almost the same reaction as I!  "Three weeks?!?  That's too often!  Even 6-8 weeks is too often, but if that's what you want, it's up to you.  I'll call K and talk to her about it.  She's young, though, so usually when they're young, they want more contact; plus, time is running out (it's almost her due date) so she's panicking a bit.  But yes, three weeks is too often.  You need to bond with the baby.  I'll talk with K and let her know this." 


PHEW!!!!  I'm not a crazy, possessive adoptive mommy afterall!