We just called the adoption lawyer this afternoon to let him know we'd been chosen by a birth mom (K). He already knew that, and had served the birth father (R) his papers on December 9th. That means R has 30 days to contest our adoption; otherwise his rights are terminated. The lawyer said that R is "18 and stupid", so even though R is threatening to contest and get his sister to raise the baby, "what is said is not often followed through upon". That would work in our favour!! We're also praying that K doesn't change her mind to place the baby with us after bonding with the baby through the birthing experience. Her mom (C) seems hell-bent on making this adoption work b/c K has plans for her future, and C would end up being the one raising the baby. She wants a break after raising 4 of her own and 3 of her sister's kids. I can't say as I blame her!
The adoption staff member did sort of burst my bubble the other day in an email saying that the adoption may not happen b/c K is so young and won't fathom the bond that will develop after giving birth to this baby. I knew it was a possibility, but to hear it from her was like a punch in my gut, and the air is slowly leaving the protective bubble around my heart. The good thing is that K is due on Valentine's ♥ Day , so if she goes into labour early, we'll possibly have a little baby sooner than expected, and we'll know one way or the other if R is going to contest the adoption, or if K and C are going to change their minds. We're praying they'll stick with their decision to bless us with a baby and make me a mommy.
It's been very difficult to not experience motherhood up to my almost 40th year. I've wanted to be a mommy ever since I can remember. When I was six, I wrote in my memory book that I wanted to be four things when I grew up: 1) mommy (2) artist (3) hairdresser and (4) teacher. I've been blessed to be able to do three of those four things, but I've always had a physical ache in my heart to be a mom.
People will tell me: "You are a mom: you've got three lovely stepdaughters!", but it REALLY is not the same! They don't want me to mother them. There are times I think they appreciate my motherly role in their lives (over the last seven years), and there are other times one of them will totally rebel against the thought of me being in that role. I have worked hard to be a positive role in their lives, loving them, throwing great parties for them, doing family-oriented activities, and making holidays really special with rich traditions. Sometimes, these acts on my part seem to inflame my stepdaughter. I don't know if she's afraid her mother's feelings will be hurt, or if she's still p.o.'d that her parents got divorced in the first place and will never reconcile. She's expressed this in the past, along with her difficulty adjusting to two households with two very different parenting styles. So, oftentimes, Greg and I get the short end of the stick. I'm hoping that when I become a "real" mommy, our relationship will change, and she will see that I'm not so bad after all. It makes me sad that I even have to go there in my mind, but my heart needs this bubble right now.